I said, I love you.
You said, always and forever.
I said, and no-one else.
You said, as long as the little tree in the garden grows.
I said, from dawn to dusk and back again.
You said, I promise.
I lied.
Covenants
27 Wednesday Apr 2016
Posted in Fiction, Microstory, Uncategorized
Textwall 
That was so powerful with the use of white space to make every line pop. Fantastic work!
Thanks! I started out with the lines in pairs but ended up revising when I realized it needed to be bracketed with “i said” or risk losing the rhythm.
I was worried that little tree was coming to a dire end. Not sure what that says about me that I might have been more concerned for the tree.
THE TREE IS FINE. OMG.
I know, I know. It’s just that it was there in the middle, featured in the longest line. I’m just saying you effectively built up suspense.
And I’m still thinking about the last two words (I’ve moved on from the tree.) Like, “Did she lie intentionally or was this only in retrospect?” There was a lot for me to ponder here.
I wondered the same as Cyn – was it true in the moment? Or did it become not true with time?
I went through the same thoughts as Cyn did. I expected something more in the end, because of the “the tree”. Just my 2 cents.
Love how you made your last line pop by breaking the rhythm. It’s like you know what you’re doing or something š
I was very concerned about the tree too!
But yes I agree with innatejames – that last line made go back and read the whole thing again. And then again after that. Awesome job.