I tangoed up to the Vice President’s residence
wearing no more than my makeup and skin
and soon the Vice President entered his residence
talking malarkey and reeking of gin
But when the Vice President’s presence was evident
I became tongue-tied and half-paralyzed
and that’s how I toured the Vice President’s residence:
thinking of talking points high on my thighs

(we were discussing problematic crushes at the #DNC when someone who may or may not have been Joe Biden said “the Vice President’s residence” and, well, this pretty much wrote itself after that.)